Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
