Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
