I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
