So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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