there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No subtext here. People are naked.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
