I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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