i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
