she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
