I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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