Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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