Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
