Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
