he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
