Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
