If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
