I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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