tell your sister to shave her snatch
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
