my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
