That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have fence marks all over my body
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
