Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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