she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
