i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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