i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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