We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
