Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
