And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
