Cold hands, warm shart.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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