mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
