Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
