we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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