yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
