you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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