Your face is a jimmy john
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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