The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
