Christians are straight up FREAKS
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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