Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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