She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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