My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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