Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
that may or may not have been my penis.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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