The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
