i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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