that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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