It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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