I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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