How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
worst night to have a conscience
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
