His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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