Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
