Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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