i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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