I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
