you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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