dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
