girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
