is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My feet surprised me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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