We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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